Thursday, November 29, 2012

Holiday Miracles II


II

What kind of man would it make him if he agreed to pull the plug on his wife’s life support? What kind of husband would he be if he didn’t?

Wes had been circling around this, running on hope and pure adrenaline for months. He’d spent what seemed like a lifetime praying and hoping for a miracle but time was running out.

Kate was his wife, his best friend, his one and only and the love of his life. They still had a lot of life ahead of them to live, many more places to go and dreams to turn into reality. It mattered not one bit to him that most of his days were all the same.

He’d wake up, get ready for work, and wake Jacob up for school. Then juggle eating breakfast with him while packing lunches and reading/signing the endless parent information forms the school sent home and after dropping Jacob off at before school care it was off to work for Wes.

After the long daily grind of traffic and the office he’d pick Jacob up from school, take him home and go over his homework with him before eating a quick bite of supper. If it was a work night at job number two, he’d wait for a neighbour's daughter to come over to sit with Jacob. If not, as was the case tonight, they’d head to the hospital to visit Kate.

Keeping up with two jobs to pay the hospital bills, taking care of Jacob, tossing and turning at night trying to get some sleep so he could get up the next morning and do it all over again had Wes on the verge of exhaustion, but he couldn’t let go. How could he?

He had another five days – the time that Kate’s Living Will would allow -- to put off what looked like the inevitable. And her wishes were very clear. If she was ever on life support she didn’t want to live long enough to be a burden to him and it was up to him to end her life with kindness.

She allowed one month’s grace from the time her Doctor advised taking her off the machines -- a concession she made after he protested that Doctors weren’t God, that God may work on his own timetable, and that he’d never be able to live with himself wondering if he’d taken away the only chance she had at life.

Kate had no way of knowing that decision would have him signing her death warrant just days before Christmas. How could he look Jacob in the eye, when he was old enough, and tell him that in the end it was he who took his Mom away from him?  And at Christmas?

Jacob would hate him, and who could blame him?

Tuesday, November 27, 2012

Holiday Miracles - I


I

Jacob’s family once celebrated Christmas with all the trimmings. His Mom would have had the house decorated and the tree up by now. The smell of her Christmas baking would be wafting throughout their home from now until the big day. Presents would be wrapped and hidden in his parents’ closet ready for ‘Santa’ to put under the tree on Christmas Eve. But those days were over and he was angry.

Angry, not at his Dad for not celebrating the holidays this year, but at the driver of the car who hit his Mom in the crosswalk that day in August; angry at God for letting it happen and for not answering his many prayers.

“Jacob,” said his Dad, “We’re leaving for the hospital in a few minutes. Be ready to go in fifteen.”

Jacob wished he was old enough to stay home alone. He didn’t know why Dad kept going there. What was the point? Mom had been unable to wake up since the accident; she didn’t even know they were in the room with her. Dad tried to tell him she could hear but he didn’t believe that. She was a stranger now.

His Mom would have laughed at his stories, hugged him to say hello, goodbye and just, well, whenever he looked like he needed one. Now, he’d sit there, listening to Dad tell his Mom about his day then watch the familiar sadness come crashing in when her facial expression remained as blank as it had since August.

“Ok, Dad,” was his only reply as he put his book and toys in his backpack to take with him for the long evening ahead.