Saturday, December 22, 2012

Holiday Miracles IV

      “It’s going to be alright.”

Holding Kate’s hand, he was praying to God for guidance and watching his sleeping son curled next to his mother; desperation, frustration, sadness and love beyond measure, the tumultuous emotions of the evening. Those uttered words from Kate the only exception - or addition in his dreams - to the events of the night before and oh, how he wished it were true.  

How happy that would make him to be planning her welcome home party rather than her funeral. But that was just the coward’s way out, he thought. It was time to face reality, and part of that reality was when and what to tell Jacob.

Was it right to expect a five year old to understand something his adult brain didn’t? A kid was only a kid once. He couldn’t, didn’t, expect his young son to have the answers to the questions or take on the responsibilities of the adults in Jacob’s life. Putting too much on Jacob was wrong to Wes’s belief.

But on the other hand, if he didn’t tell him ahead of time and waited until he was old enough to understand, would Jacob hate him for not letting him be part of the decision? Were there things he’d be robbing Jacob of doing with or saying to his mother by not giving him warning?

Either way he looked at it, explaining death to his son was hard at any time of year, at any age, but at Christmas doubly so.

Friday, December 14, 2012

Holiday Miracles III


      “Good evening, Wes,” greeted Kate’s Dr as they entered Kate’s room. “I’m afraid there’s still no change.” As a husband Dr Rattan understood Wes’s inability to make the decision he needed to make. If roles were reversed he didn’t know if he could choose to turn off machines keeping his wife alive. But as a doctor, he believed it cruel, to Kate and her loved ones, to drag out the inevitable. “Have you made a decision?” he asked.

Wes looked pointedly at Jacob, a gentle reminder that they weren’t alone in the room, and carefully responded. “I’ve thought of not much else, Doc” Wes answered, nodding towards the door. Wes turned to Jacob and said, “Dr Rattan and I will just be out in the hall for a minute. How ‘bout you talk to your Mom while I’m gone.”

“I prayed, well maybe hoped, I’d walk into her room today and she’d be awake. That I wouldn’t have to decide on anything more than what was for dinner tomorrow,” Wes told Dr Rattan. “You know, I bought her a Christmas present – a heart locket. I had the jeweler do our pictures so that when she opens it, it looks like we’re holding hands.”

“You’re just making it harder on yourself, Wes; you know as I do what Kate wanted. You can’t put this off any longer, it’s not right.”

“Tomorrow’s Christmas Eve. I won’t,” Wes paused at the look on Dr Rattan’s face, “can’t, do it until after Christmas. I won’t do that to Jacob.”

“I’m sure Kate will forgive us under the circumstances, but Wes? The day after Christmas is as long as I’ll wait.”

Wes stood in the hallway alone long after Dr Rattan went on his way praying for the help he and Jacob would need in the coming months.