“I don’t have time for that.”
My husband and I have recently become Empty Nester's. During a conversation I was having recently with a loved one, I found myself saying that same old phrase “I don’t have time for that” yet again when told some little tidbits of gossip being passed around.
Reflecting on my life, I realized that “I don’t have time for that” has been the excuse I’ve used for most of my adult life when faced with something, that truth be told, I just didn’t (or don’t) want to be a part of.
At one time I believed that, having married my husband at the age of nineteen and a year or so later giving birth to our oldest of three sons, or that, as a young, military wife who spent weeks – many times months – at a time carrying on a long distance relationship with my husband and being a temporary, stand-alone parent, were the reasons that I didn’t have time for things like girl’s night out, parties, or the gossip chain, but in my reflections of the past week I realize that it was really all about choices. Mine.
Was it my choice to wait by the phone for my husband’s call rather than be out with friends? Absolutely. Was it our choice for me to hold the phone up to our baby’s ear so they could hear Daddy’s voice when he was away? Absolutely, because it was important to me, to us, to make sure our babies knew Daddy loved and was thinking of them when he was away. And really, there’s nothing at all wrong with girl’s night out or partying until the rooster crows, and now that our sons are grown up, I’ve certainly enjoyed a bit of both. As for the gossip, well, all I can say there is, to each their own. For me, "I don't have time".
The reality is we’ve all been guilty a time or two of being party to he said/she said or he did/she did, and speaking for myself, it was during times of low self-esteem, low self-confidence that I didn’t - but should’ve - said, “I don’t have time”. So, from now on when this Empty Nester catches myself saying “I don’t have time,” I’ll at least admit to myself that what I really mean is, “I don’t wish to make time”.
“At least if they’re talking about me, they’re leaving someone else alone.” George Potts